Doctor my whut?

Southern women of a certain age is therly indoctrinated on the subjeck of modesty so this here blog is one of 'em abberashuns of my usual standards of protycall. Sharin' ye miseries is justified I recon iffn it might hep somebidey else with ther laf's trals so on 'at basis I mean to lay my Thyroid ailmunts plumb wide open lak guttin' a hog, y'all, so brace yersefs. Yessir, it plumb giv' out on me an' subseequent tho'd me into a mess 'at requared me to go a squallin' to 'at Low Income Clinic fer a patchin'. First off the' said I wuz 'Indigent' but I tol' 'em I never heart of 'at ailmunt an' didn' thank 'at wuz it so the' sent me on back to git examined. Now at 76 everbidey looks young but 'at feller warn't fer past his weanin' days, y'all! To git on with it,though; The doctor declared it to be a malfunkshun of my Thyroid gland an' writ me a perscripshun fer sumpn' called whoremones. When I balked at the idee on account of bein' a Christian an' a havin' plenty of trouble with moral'ty as it wuz, he just kinely sniggered an' giv' me some free samples of sumpn' er t'other an' takened off outta thar lak his tail wuz afar. Mercy. But it hep'd! In about two weeks them symtoms wuz plumb on gone. I hadn' prevyiss been able to feel my butt ner legs fer the cold sensashuns I had an' wuz peer dee sick of warin' 'at heatin' pad in my drawers with 'at extenchun cord a trippin' me up all day long. An' my har quit fallin' out which heped the cat too who had been a swallerin' it an' gaggin' harballs everwher. Plus I quit bein' so blame tard; a sicheashun 'at had made me leave off on pert near everthang 'at warn't laf er death to git done plus inklynated me to takin' naps ever 3 hours. So...the bottom line is ....Go to the clinic an' git hep if yer bidey commences to turn agin' ye some way unushull. "Good Docterin' " y'all! An' love to all, Francis