Ther'pee kin git dangeriss

After ketchin' up on the latest news headlines yester'dy, It come to me 'at I had two choices to git over the resultin' traumer; I could either uncork a fresh bottle of "tonic" er I could go out an' clean the fishpond. I takened door #2. It wuz greener'n a gourd an' a floatin' thangs dead an' alive both but since it is a gittin' sprangtime it has got to git dunged out er it'll commence to stankin', y'all. So I done it. Now this here blog ain't fer the purpiss of garnerin' no sympathy ner nuthin' of the kind. Nossir. I figger y'all read the news too an' might ort to put it all in the context of the laf er death hazards a lurkin' in yer own back yard. At'll tho some of 'attar' perspectiff on thangs fer dang tootin'. It happens so fast! Thar ye are flailin' around with a pond strainer one second an' the next yer a wallerin' on yer belly in green slime an' haf rotted worms an' stuff lak 'at. Now at 76 ye don't bounce back from falls ner axedental pond wallers' lak ye used to. Mercy! It takened a solid 30 minutes to git up outta thar, y'all, partly on account of them rocks wuz slicker'n mucous on a membrane plus I contracted a case of hypeo therma in 'attar" cold water.(Have y'all seen 'at movie "The Creature From The Black Lagoon?" I coulda' been the star.)Now,'at wuz a plenty to survive but then the neighber's dog went plumb peer dee wald an' attackted me nerly eatin' me alive 'fore I could crawl back in my trailer house.Then 'em 911 fellers hung up on me to boot; Sayin' "Crank callers will be prosecuted." Whut in the world? Anyhow, after all 'at the evenin' news ort to not faze me one ioter an' maybe 'is story'll hep y'all in some way t'other too.Ye cain't never tell. Love to all of y'all, Francis Annabelle Turl